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been awhile...   
02:46pm 14/01/2007
mood: sore
hey guys i knwo it has been awhile but i havent really had a home or internet to use for awhile. still dont in fact. but i DO have a cell phone. 404-556-1358. give me a call sometime folks. <(^-^)>
car accident   
05:44pm 27/08/2006
  ok, well, there wasn't a car accident. but it is just as important & I'm sure it caught your eye.
but since Jimmy has lost internet connections & has asked me (Courtney), I'm typing up his request of you all.

If there is anyone who could possibly take care of his 2 cats for a month or so, that'd be wonderful. He doesn't have anywhere to stay permanently, and he needs a place for his cats.
He understands that since it's two cats, it'd be a little bit of a hassle, he'd try to visit (depending on where said cats are being housed) & try to help with the monetary aspect of it, but you have to remember that he is "low & in the negative monies" it'd be hard for him to help, but he will most def. try.

If you can respond to this request before september 1st, just call him.
if no one picks up, just please leave a message.

otherwise, he'll be back &/or in ga by mid-september, and able to check his comments, so if you realize you can help in any way after 9/1, then leave a comment!

it is greatly appreciated.

Indirectly yours, Jimmy
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shit creek...   
03:45pm 31/07/2006
mood: pissed the fuck off
let me describe to you my weekend thus far. on friday afternoon i get a call from a guys mom that i know up here asking if i would like to be picked up and spend the night over there. i say sure and get dressed. the only catch was that she asked if i would mind moving a few things for a family. of course not. she picks me up and takes me to a storage building unit, where a HUGE ass truck is parked . they had just started moving things from the truck into the storage unit. we were all told we wernt gettign paid. so regardless i just stood around a bit with ond and austin. after a bit i got tired os doing nothing cause they were going slower then shit so i jumped in the truck and started moving shit myself. next thing you know im stuck lifting 80 pound boxs while bent over in 130 deegree temp truck not being able to stand up cuase i was in the top of the stuff inside the truck handing the boxs down. then came out the tool boxs tall as me FULL of tools. then the piano (from 1800 something) made of solid wood basicly. lets not forget the lovly cast iron collection of smelting pots and lets deffently not forget the kilm they had. lovely time. so we went back to ond's house and stayed up till 8 and went to bed. got up at 1 the next day and my entire right side was in so much pain you cant even begin to understand.they wanted to go play ddr in pidgon forge later so i told them i needed my shoes. (by the way after moving evything the lady gave me 40 bucks cause i worked my ass off) they said they couldnt go get my shoes so the sandles that i were wearing would have to work.well i said sure why not and we left. we got there and i played for like 3 hours. the same amount of time that we spent unloading that god forsaken truck) i now had blisters the size of quarters on the bottom of my toes and feet in places. so im just a basic mound of hurt at that moment in time. but i let it slide cause i was having fun. we get back to ond's house and zac (the tennesse zac) tells me that my dad called him at work and that i should call him. i got back at 12 p.m. so all i could do was leave a message. i got to sleep at roughly 6:15 that night/morning. i got a call from my dad at 8:45 a.m. telling me that he got my message and i need to go home asap cause my mom was coming up with a moving truck to take some stuff. i ran out the door and me and ryan raced to my house. i got there and 5 min later my mom, aunt annette, and aunt cindy all drove up. my mom in a moving truck almost the size of the one i unloaded the day before. im limping. i cant feel my right side on and off and when i do i wish i couldnt cause it hurt so bad. and yet...they wanted me to move stuff out of my hosue onto the truck. by stuff let me inform you exactly what i mean. our living room stuff. all of it. except for our big tv that is so old its not worth moving.thats all she left. that and my total gym machine. out of my dad's room she took all his bedroom stuff. bed, nightstand, big mirror/dresser thingy. and if you dont know those were all a gift to them when they got married. it was somethign like a 2000 to 3000 doller set. its gone. she took all the bathroom stuff, and all the christmas stuff. she even took all of my dad's movies and books. and while she and my dad were in the bedroom talking, i was stuck in the kitchen with ryan and my wonderful aunt cindy.let me paint this lovly picture for you. im standing on both feet but shaking from the effort to stand. no joke. ryan is to my right with a coke in his hand. shes on the other side of the island in our kitchen looking around for other things to take. then she says "by the way jimmy your mom wanted to go through all of your movies to takes hers out." to that i stood up as straight as i could and said firmly. "no she isnt." i should let you know now that my aunt cindy doesnt like to be talked back to. if she isnt in control she starts flipping out like a 6 year old till she gets her way. this is my very very christian aunt. she starts going on about how my mother doesnt owe me anything so i should stop pretending like she does and that i should stop putting the blame of all my personal problmes onto other people. to that i could hardly put forth into words exactly how or what i shoudl do. was it best to laugh, punch her in the face, scream, or stay silent and try to calm down. she then broke down into a wonderful heart felt speech about how the devorce is hurting alot of people and that i shouldnt feel like im alone in it. to that i told her to stop talking cause the devorce doesnt bother me one goddamn bit. its not my marrage. what bothered me what the fact that she lied to me. my mom. to my face. like a whore. (i didnt not say the whore part) well to that she dropped her mouth in shock and said my mom doesnt have a lying bone in her body....riiiight...ok...and i could see where she was coming from. i mean actully my mom never lied to me if you dont count the cancer, the tummy tuck, stealing my money, taking my things when shes not allowed in the house, lying to me about letting me live with her and about 400 other counts my mother has never tried to lie or manipulate info out of me EVER. so i kindly brought up a few facts to which my dear sweet aunt cindy brushed aside. then she started telling me that i shouldnt call my mom a pathological lier...i then looked around the room to ryan and back at her. not once had i mentioned her ever "oweing" me anything and the word "pathological" never even came to my MIND. so i let her know that my mother was a shitty liar when it came to lying all the time. but she still does it none the less. then i brought up the living situation, to which my wonderful aunt cindy YELLED at me that my mom NEVER said that i couldnt live with her....even though when she first told me that i couldnt i saved her exact words and told like 30 people what she said word for word.the convo with my aunt cindy would have endded alot sooner but then she started calling me pathetic. to this my friend, ryan ( a 250 pound guy that throws his weight around freely offen hurting people or breaking things) actully got scared of the way i was looking at the moment. he didnt tell me this till later, cause i hadnt even noticed when he did this, but he actully left the room and went outside. i was shaking so much at the point and the right side of me was yelling to sit down while this random stomach virus was taking hold and turning my stomach inside out all at the same time. so to stop all of the pain on my side i was moving things around and cleaning up a bit. i was walking away to put something in my room, when she called me that. to which point i actully wanted to turn around and tell her to get the fuck out of my house.but i knew that regardless of what ever else was said she wouldnt stop till she had the last word and looked like a saint. so i just started to agree with her right after she said i was a screw up. so i just looked at her in the eyes and said "you know what your right. im a mess up. nobody else in the world is wrong but me."to which she agreed. SHE FUCKING AGREED! i didnt really want to go out of my way to piss cindy off. anette i hate more then the dutch.so i gladly and openly disagreed which whatever smartass remark she made. all the while im limping and sneezing and shaking, not from the fight but from probably physical exaustion. after which my mom came to me and started talking about her mvoies. to everything i said no. then she went to my dad. (yes thats right if she cant have her way she goes to my dad...cause it seems a 19 year old cant make responsible choices on the STUFF HE OWNS!) and started saying that she wanted the stool i use for playing guitar and piano in my living room. you know the really old spinning wooden stool that has glass balls held by iron "feet" on the bottom. were talking 1800's kinda old. my dad said no. which doesnt matter if he said yes, the stool was givin to me and whoever tried to take it would have got my foot up their ass and a strong case of yelling from me...i dont care if they are my aunts and if they are women, id have knocked the shit out of them. after this is all done, the arguments overwith, ryan came back in, and they were all driving away my dad tells me why they came to get the stuff. my mom is staying in a place for free right now so long as she looks after a dog. the dog now has throat cancer so the people dont want her to stay there any more and she needs the stuff. on top of it all she told my dad that she cant pay for her half of the house anymore because of it. so she stopped payments on the house. so now the house people have a big problems with us....

we now have less then 30 days to vacate this house.

thank you mom

P.S. life always seems to throw in those little gifts called surprises....arnt they grand.
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im in a funny moood so i thought id try to write a short story.   
03:49am 09/07/2006
mood: tired
The Class Ring

Once so full of shine, watching the sky sparkle off its cut out stone. blue as the eyes of the man who once wore it. the man who once tried to fight years of work to earn somethign that gives title. gives rank. alone now sitting on a shelf. years eairlier it was sitting flat under a book and next to a decaying toy at the bottom of a box left forgotten in storage. the sheen of the band slowly wearing itself down over the years of neglect looking more liek the thigns it was never ment to be. the cheaper not as high ranked rings that tell others only that they are enough to get by. not a ring of class. not a ring of authority. but years gone by the wearer hardly touchs the ring. slowly holds it from time to time. letting himself feel the weight of something he longs to correct. letting the absolut solid force of it bore down into his past. the hand it never fit. the girl who never wanted it. the boy who never earned it. the star jewel that once was a small fire burning all day and night liek a small sun that never went out now stands cracked from the years of neglect.the name on the inside no longer legible. just a blur of somethign once standing out. like the owner it never got the chance it felt it deserved to be out and shown. maybe it had the chance and missed it, it thinks. maybe it came too late. it never got the chance to know befor eit had to leave. "leaving so soon?", it would ask the boy. and the boy never gave the ring a real answer. somehow he always seemd to avoid directily staring at this ring. the ring was, after all, somethign he was not. a solid sign of respect.the boy grew to hate the ring almost as much as he yerned for it. but years went by and still lok holds the ring crying at night wishing for the ability to right what he could not. the right to wear this ring.at times he woudl try to wear it agin but it never quite fit him. never was for him, although nether the ring or the man would ever bring up this though. "sometimes", the man would say,"i want so bad for the things that i could never have, when the thigns i really wanted were right here in front of me...things like you old ring." but actions alwasy spoke louder. the box sat molded over form the heat of summers past and still the ring sat waiting for the moment to see the sun again. to shine with everything it had left to give. now sitting on the mantle watching the man the once looked as bright as the ring itself, now frail and solom. the trmble in the mans hands that night as the ring rememberd all of this was a sign of somethign being answerd long overdue. the answer to the whys and the hows and the whens. never being what he could have been or should have been the man slowly circled his old leathery thumb over the jewel. breathing a musty cloud on the ring to wipe away some remaining spot that recently found its way to the relic, the man sighed. he told the ring that night he was sorry but wouldnt be able to hold it much longer. that nobody would.the ring was one of the only ones left form that year. many of its brothers had died in a war, lost in greed, or sat falling apart lost at the bottom of a sewer or the sea. never once did the ring think it a fake. belonging to a man never bearing the right to wear somethign to pure. somethign so honest. the owner too scared to leave for the war. to afraid to take it anywhere where it mgiht be seen and judged. the ring was always too heavy for the man to carry. and finally hearing the mans words upon its dust covered jewel hurt. it took the last remaining shine from the jewel, just as it did from the man who held it. as the ring fell it coudl only remain silent. silent for the years of waitng. the years of hope. the throught that it too was the pride of a winner. not of a lazy nobody. the ring stayed silent for the fall. seeign everything it ever had flicker out just as fast as it had inighted. the last thing the ring saw befor eit hit the floor was the man's eyes. the same blue that once held the flicker for life. that same shine that told anybody and everybody the wonders of everything big and small. the same eyes slowly go dark. the man joining the ring on the floor seconds after the ring stoped so did the gental breathing of the man. a soft im sorry going out to somethign now as cold as the air in the room.the ring no longer felt these things. the ring had stopped the moment it knew. now only a jewel broken in half set into a decaying metal band. surrounded by a school name it never knew. a figer it never fit. a girl how never wanted it, and a boy who never earned it. and now the man that never was honest to it. slowly the light faded from the fire. turnign both the jewel and the man's lgith out for the last time. the soft sorrys only being hear by the walls. walls with only pictures of frieds. friends that the man once knew and pushed so hard to go on and live. pictures of peopel he once loved. pictures of him as the boy that was so full of life. in the middle of them all a lone picture, by far the smallest of them all watched the man fall silent on the floor. saw the ring fall and break. saw the answer that should have been found years before. "a cirlce of friends" was the pictures name. bearing true to its name a group of the boys friends with him standing to the side. on everyones finger was the one thign the boy never really had. each one of the peopel now staring blank wore a ring. their ring. rings that sang of autority and rank. rings that sang out spells of light and laugher mixed. rings that to this day tell only of how far they have come and the power of the one who earn the right to ware it. rings that were matched to the same colour of those who wore them. bright as the summer sky and as deep and a harvest moon. real rings. THEIR rings. which was somethign that was never just bough. it was just somethign that you had to earn. which was somethign that can never be faked. only understood over time. adn that time just never came to the man back when he was a boy. back when they all had rings. class rings.

sorry abotu that kinda rambled on there but as msot of my friends know im no writer. in fact im not even goign to go over my typos cause i suck that much lol. but if you guys out there take the time to read it and like it or hate it or anythign really do tell me what you though of it. i would like to know.
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i just did a head count and the total is....   
06:44pm 06/07/2006
mood: bouncy
yeah so i start watching one of my new vhs movies and i find my vsr isnt up to making it look so good. so i go into my other room to go through all my movie to find my head cleaner. whil ei was in there i thought id go through my movies and do a head count of them to see how many i had. it breaks down into these catogorys.

vhs - 307
dvd - 135
vhs box set movies (1 movie that has 2 vhs tapes to it) - 6
dvd box sets (tv shows like friends couting the box itself and not each dvd) - 22

if i dont count each seperate tape or dvd in the box sets this comes to an absolute total of......

470! woot doggies!

im still clombing however and seeing as im only 19 i figure if i keep this up by the time im 30 ill have over 1000. i know what your thinking....out of all the things that he coudl possibly ever want to collect....movies? well yes it is a passion of mine. and i shoudl let you know that all these movies go from disney to godfather. from charlie chaplin to ron white and weird al.

but there is still many movies out there that i dont have. and have not seen. for i am only one man.the world is a big place and the movies that run free from my grasp are many. but like pokemon i WILL catch them all.

they will be mine. oh yes, they WILL be mine....
3 years behind and nothing to show....   
01:51am 22/06/2006
  somebody told me that iv been stuck in the past over the last 3 years of my life. that somehow me moving to tenn made my mindset stay in middle of highschool mode. not that im immature or anything just that i never gave room for the thoguht that after i left peopel changed.i knew they would but somehow somewhere i still felt i had a place to belong in their lifes as jimmy. i never wanted to be that great i just wanted to be and simply be known for being an ok guy that people can depend on and look up too. but as a 19 year old failure to almsot everything that life has had to throw at me i feel ...well..empty.i cant hold a girlfriend cuase everytime i get near one i despise being near then and when im away from them i crave being close to them. over the past 2 weeks things have been sliding into a certain place. i mean looking back i find so many clues over the years in tenn and in ga that say that i should have made a differnt choice. i should have done this or not done that. but now these signs arnt saying what i should have done and what i should not have done. they basicly say that im gone and i missed all chances for a foothold. maybe its just me but i stare at a wall and see my past. i really dont like who i am and what iv done. i ask why didnt i ask her out? or why did i not stand up for myself. somehow with all these things that i read about from these people's life's i find that im gone. all traces have been comepletly eroded with time. now dont get me wrong. im not asking for people to give a shout out for things on this cuase that completely defeats the perpose. and i dont mean for this to at all sound bad towards any of the names that i put down in here cause they are all just examples to small things that i have noticed. i dont know somehow i just never thougth life would go on without me. not their lifes but mine. my life went on without me. that sounds really stupid. i know i should be over people liek ryan and WAY over people like sami and i completly am. i dont like them in the same way nor do i think i could ever. its just for some odd reason i get this strange feeling when i think of these people actully moving on with thier lifes. i know this is all coming out badly and not at all the way i mean it to sound. i have the problem. so many problems.i see all these people finding themselfs. becomeing the people that they are going to be for the rest of their lifes. still going out and having fun but in a differnt way. no longer are these peopel going to skating rings or bowling. but out to dorms and drinking. smoking up and having sex.and i feel stupid cuase out of them all i cant find where im supposed to be. who im supposed to be. who i need and who i dont. this weekend the devorce is final and i see my dad falling apart and dying. and i see myself in him. trusting all the wrong people being somebody im not and giving away everythign that matterd for a person that i dont really know or want to know. i cant seem to do anything good these days. im lazy i know but i mean most simple things. thigns that go so easy for other people.the same peopel that are going on to collage now are getting near the end of their collage and i find myslef 3 years back waiting for my senior year that just never seems to come. that final year that you know what you are made of and what you will become and what you are good at. i thgouth it was music but i jsut cant seem to do that these days. i play alot yeah but what goods song that nobody hears. what good a talent that gets you nowhere unless you are lucky. we all know iv never had that kind of luck on my side....i see myself on a path that i cant go back on. welcome to life jimmy. you are alone. you have no skills for the real world. and you are in debt already becuase of other family members taking control of your life. i see marcus finding out this whole new side of himself. finding out how great thigns can be and making his way through life. i see zac working at a job that he migh tnot like but living alone in atlanta and being an all around guy with a long lasting relationship with a great gal. i see megan finding herself and getting ready fro collage life. i see jessi doign great with her guy and going through collage with ease and i see sara doing everythign that she likes and being just great. and i always felt i woudl be the guy that everybody calls up to hang out with and id be that guy that might not go as far as the rest but keeps up. and without knowing it i became that guy that will will at the movie theater when hes 30. ....my name is james story im 19 with no licence no job very high dreams and hopes that are of all types of things that will never work and im a failure. is it cuase im a bit more emotional then other guys? im not a manly man i know but why do peopel feel they can just push me around. and i let them. theres so many thigns to do and im more then 3 years behind on so many of them. i have my mind in the past in so many differnt ways it hurts.in my dreasm i see everythign i did wrong in elm school and middle school. in the day i see everything i did wrong in highschool and other things. and then it hits me each day that my dads goign to die soon my mother is running away form the family and taking all the money with her to start over. and my sister is lucky that she ran far enough away to not see it all. i watch my life and everybody elses go on and i cant seem to push myself to stop it ever to step in and do something right. i cant seem to look people in the face and tell them i like them or dont like what they are doing or get the nerve to start up a real band or do anything. i have nothign and nothing to show for it.i have so many years of regreat for so many things and no matter how hard i try at certain things i cant seem to get my foot hold on anything important. in fact me crying and typing all this is yet anothing that that goes in the direction of where i dont want to be and who i dont want to be.i feel that the best thing i can do is leave. just leave. not tell anybody where im going except maybe 2 or 3 peopel and jsut go and try to build it all from scratch. but i know id regreat so much more if i did. but at the same time i feel that half wouldnt even miss me till they got a few of their friends angry and needed a person to talk to abotu it. that is what im here for after all. its what i have always been here for. just for you peopel to call up when you pissed a few peopel off or are upset or somethign and need somebody to talk to about it. then your off again without a thank you or a see you next week or anything. its alwyas been liek that. i feel that if i left tongiht and ran away to ga to live on the street i would. and id find a job or two and try my hardest to start again there.but i cant go back to school id only fail. thats not me being negative i just cant write papers and collage is all abotu you writing alot....liek righ tnow im kinda with somebdoy but i feel that i shouldnt be. that it shoudlnt be at all. that i should ether be alone or with somebody else not cause shes bad or anythign just cause its whats probably best. and shes awsome shes actully downright damn good person thats close to a certain side of me. shes alot more caring then alot of the people that i have been with. but everytime i find a gal that i kinda like these words that marcus once siad to me come hounting back. "some people just exist from day to day never really living at all. just kinda drifting along." and "dont ever just settle for the "well shes ok" girl. cause thats just wasting everybodys time."..... im empty. i feel iv reached a point wher ei ether do or dont. and everythign that goes along with the "do" portion feels like its hit a limit that i cant seem to pass. such as my music. kinda liek ehan ryan stopped doing ddr cause she couldnt see that she was getting better at it....(and yet THERE is another example tha tmy mind is still in the past)...i mgiht be at that spot for my music. roughyl 6 years of guitar. it sounds liek aot and not alot at the same time. and im good at guitar dont get me wrong, ill admit that. but on a scale of every otehr music perosn i knwo iim still near the bottom. 6 years isnt enough to do anythign good when it comes to me i guess....i need to get better and try hard at making it big with music. cause if not i have nothign else. and i cant grow old in this shit hole state of tenn or the personal state that im in. i will kill myself before i end up like that guy. you can make that a promise. but i still cant find what i am, who i am, where imsupposed to be. what im supposed to do. i shoudl have seen these thigns YEARS ago but i just couldnt. i can hope that the saying abotu the "last blossom is the best" but can that really be used in my situation? im more along the lines of "the smartest retard can still try to live life like normies.".....back on empty....my dads been tryign to drink since the call about the court date for the devorce. i dont have much alcohol left but he says he needs it....each day he hurts more and more in his chest and his heart. through it all hes becomeing a walking dead man and everybody can see it. i feel so bad for him that i cant help him. but im kinda afriad that by just touching him i will be liek him. anothing thing i cant stand abotu myself.....completly emtpy now....which means im going to go...try to get a few hours of sleep before i try to go get my life time job at mcdonalds............"on my own, here we go"  
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because lauran told me to.   
03:37pm 18/06/2006
mood: discontent
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre,whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

1. there is no if... by The Cure
2. cruel cruel world by Prozzak
3. teenage dirtbag (cover) by Scala
4. with or without you by U2
5. no way back by Foo Fighters
6. bite back by All-American Rejects
7. useless desires by Patty Griffin

but i cant really ask 7 people to do this simply cause i cant think of 7 people that read my lj anymore that hasent already done this....but oh well.

in other news the devorce papers finally came. my dad signed them and went to court to get it finished. in something like 28 days now he will be legally devorced...and we will have no money to servive. lovly world we live in.
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anwers that im sure nobody really cares about....   
01:23pm 21/05/2006
mood: tired
1.final fantasy 7 saga (movie, games and stuff)- cloud of course
2.ranma 1/2 - p-chan
3.kingdom hearts - besides cloud, riku
4.sabriel - mogget
5.black ring trilogy - daemon
6.hitchickers guide to the galexy - marvin!
7.friends - chandler
8.disney - jack sparrow
9.star wars (yes im a geek what do you expect) - chewie!
10.metal gear solid - solid snake is pretty damn cool
11.resident evil - ether leon, clair, or jill all for their famous bad voice acting on serious scenes....jill sandwich anyone?
12.armitage the 3rd (poly-matrix) - ahh lovly naomi armitage
13.perfect dark - joanna dark
14.zelda - link deffently
15.hedwig and the angry inch - hmmm tough choice...probably tommy just cause of his awsome band makeup and those tight leather pants lol
16.harry potter - hermione all the way baby!
17.jhonny the homicidal maniac - again tough choice..ether nail bunny, johnny, mr. fuck, or squee
18.rocky horror picture show (favorite person not favoite person to play) - columbia or riff raff
19.final fantasy 8 - squall woo hoo!
20. chip's challenge (yes thats right...i said it) - this was a trick answer only casue there is one person in that entire 2d game....chip....so i pick him

in other news im really good at the speedbag thingy...lots of fun....in other other news absolutly nothing but complete dissapointment in myself in otheres. that is all
just to see if anybody really wants to guess lol   
06:42pm 17/05/2006
mood: geeky
Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love of at some time in your life. Have your friends list guess your favorite character from each item.

1.final fantasy 7 saga (movie, games and stuff)
2.ranma 1/2
3.kingdom hearts
5.black ring trilogy
6.hitchickers guide to the galexy
9.star wars (yes im a geek what do you expect)
10.metal gear solid
11.resident evil
12.armitage the 3rd (poly-matrix)
13.perfect dark
15.hedwig and the angry inch
16.harry potter
17.jhonny the homicidal maniac
18.rocky horror picture show (favorite person not favoite person to play)
19.final fantasy 8
20. chip's challenge (yes thats right...i said it)

yes i know a few of those are pushing it but i ran out of things to list after about 14 lol
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because megan's lj siad i had to do it   
11:10pm 10/05/2006
mood: restless
Leave your name and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours
     Read 19 - Post
oddly enough...   
06:27pm 05/05/2006
mood: geeky
oddly enough every time i see the endding of the movie face/off i cant help but think that the moral of the story is:

"if your kid dies in a tragic gun firing accident, then get your self a new one."

cause everybody knows that when your puppy dies a new one makes you all better.
     Read 5 - Post
interview thingy from jessi   
02:01pm 03/05/2006
mood: melancholy
1) Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2) I will respond by asking you five questions.
3) You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4) You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5) When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

trinity1013: 1) What do you usually go to sleep thinking about?
me: hmmm thats a toughy.. normally id say first how i hate my cat for crawling all over my face everynight when i go to bed...then id have to say i ether go throught he list of people i know very well and just think of past times with them, or i think or people from the way back past and think about how much i regret. after that i normally just ether make something up exciting to dream about (action adventure save the planet sort of thing/i make it big in the music industry) or a very badly done romantic story sometimes also being a comedy where strangly enough i sometimes lose the girl to a made up dream person. however i cant blame my dream copys of the people i know or the dream gals...casue some of those dream guys...they are pretty good lol.

trinity1013: 2) Describe your perfect day :)
me: my perfect day...well thats a very hard thing for me to say. technicly speaking (from how things are right now for me and have been for some time) anything that wasnt as shitty as normal. but to indulge you i would probably have to say spending an entire day laughing with a few of my friends doing something (videogames, shopping, just sitting there, at a party you name it) and after wards i guess watching a good movie with ether myself or with somebody special (and i dont mean a specal person with a big forhead ::wink wink:: ) the entire day could ether be warm and slightly windy but not directly hot...or just raining and gray but still warm. another good one coudl be me on stage singing hit songs to a crowd of people who are really hearing it and enjoying it.

trinity1013: 3) Remember when we made a list of every song you knew how to perform? That was cool... what else could we add to that list?
me: im sure you dont want a HUGE list here so i will just do only five.

brusied - jack's mannequinn
supreme - robbie williams
maybe someday - the cure
useless desires - patty griffen (yes thast right i said it!)
mint car - the cure

trinity1013: 4) List two heroes of yours and explain why they are so awesome.
me: heh i do have two heros however i dont know if you ment people that are real....so here they go anyway...

cloud strife - yes i know he isnt real but he's absolutly everything to me. yes i know im a geek but i dont really have that many peopel to hold on to and hes always been there for me since 1998. the reason i really look up to him is hes the main guy of the game, and im like him in alot more ways then one. hes almost a cartoon/cg me...(there ARE differnces so please dont put comments on here nameing them) anywho it just makes me feel that in the end of things ill still kinda be important and stuff.

almost everybody else - i say that cuase i cant think of a single somebody else that i look up to at this very moment in time. i mena i dont really have anotehr one. i used to but he's kinda not the man i useed to think he was (that was my dad im talking about) however i look around and see kids i used to know already burned out from drugs or doing stupid things or things like trying to be with people that are so far out there that they shoudlnt be with them...all of them makes me a bit sad...and it hit me recently that im probably not goign to make it out of this life with anything worthwhile. so the only people i can look up to right now i guess are the peopel who are actully making somethign of their lifes without being too stupid about thigns like drugs, cutting themselfs, getting fucked by anybody and everybody... and let me tell you, my friends are my most important things but only roughly half of them are doing somethign that is called worthwhile(for anything for life that is). thast enough of the hateful rant.

trinity1013: 5) As for music, reveal a few guilty pleasures!
me: lol this question deffently cought me off guard...again ill list five

1) i got a thing about seeing my grandson grow old - cat stevens
2) since you've been gone - kelly clarkson (sp?)
3) useless desires - patty griffen (yeah i put it in here twice but it seriously shocked ME about liking it lol)
4) a few differnt songs from nirvana
5) last resort and broken home - papa roach (and only when im playing 007 goldeneye or perfect dark)

well there you have it the interview thingy. it has been completed ::jumps around in happy complete mode)
in other news my dad got served the divorce papers the monday that i was gone in ga. in roughly 20 someodd days the devorce will be final and they will be single. im single. i have no money. i have no job. i have no working car and i dont have a licence. yes i think its safe to say that now that i dont have insurence or a working family i have really nothing much. i hurt... i hate to sound really dramatic but i feel almost hollow from it all. im really happy fro all of those peopel that took the time to see me while i was down there. and thank you shelby for trying to see me. we need to make time to actully see each otehr one day soon....anyway my sister is coming in today and i havent seen her for roughly a year so that should be....something....im goign to go do some packing i think. later
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...it finally happened...   
08:53am 19/04/2006
mood: depressed
it was tuesday, april 18th 2006 at roughly 11:15 p.m. when possibly the best person ever in this world and the next passed away. she will be missed more then she would have ever known. she was my light, my love, and my inspiration for life, music, and everything inbetween. last night i learend a song that was shinning so strong in my mind from a band that i dont even like. it was strange that i shoudl even think of this song. this mourning i got a call from my mom while i was blasting this song on my guitar so that the whole area coudl hear me at it. my mom told me that my aunt betty died in her sleep. soundly at the age of 93. she was the last perosn in my entire family that i liked. the only reason i ever felt as a kid that i coudl make it. she pushed me on mroe then anybody ever has. made me smile when i felt i coudlnt and was the most powerful bone in this familys body. the song is strong in my mind and i dont knwo if it fits or if i found it for a reason.

but im abotu to blow my speakers out playign this song in the other room.

"no way out" by the foo fighters.

aunt betty this ones for you as is almost everything else i will ever do.

(i know its selfish but the only three people that i can think of that i want to see righ tnow are ryan,jessi, and shelby...i coudl use you guys right now)

funeral to be anounced but probably going to be on a friday or saterday...
     Read 6 - Post
i just found this and i laughed my ASS off at it.   
09:41pm 02/02/2006
  i just found this. its a REAL add from the 80's.

Image hosting by Photobucket
     Read 9 - Post
i was told to post this to you guys...   
12:56am 02/02/2006
  Aerokissfan88: back
navipenguin: it would seem
Aerokissfan88: lol
Aerokissfan88: blar blar
navipenguin: really?
navipenguin: oh shit why didnt anybody tell me
navipenguin: ::runs off to go check it::
Aerokissfan88: I'm glad I'm the one to tell you. B/c I fucking care aboot my friends, I just won't leave them in the dark
Aerokissfan88: especially under the "blar blar" emergency situation
navipenguin: what did you mean blar blar
navipenguin: his water and food were both full
navipenguin: you must have clearly got the signals mixed up
Aerokissfan88: lol
Aerokissfan88: what?!
navipenguin: lol
Aerokissfan88: no, man!
Aerokissfan88: surely not, no!
navipenguin: yes, women?
Aerokissfan88: oh, dear god!
navipenguin: jimmy will do thank you
Aerokissfan88: oy
navipenguin: now go in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch!
navipenguin: ill smite you i swear it by my father
navipenguin: lol
Aerokissfan88: I would be able to make you a fucking sandwich, "massah", if you'd bring some goddamn money in the house to even PAY for the groceries
Aerokissfan88: you dead-beat asshole
Aerokissfan88: lol
navipenguin: hey
navipenguin: holy man here
navipenguin: died for your sins
navipenguin: what the hell do you want me to do?
navipenguin: jesus!
navipenguin: i mean seriously here
navipenguin: i turn water to wine and help the blind see and she wants me to get a fucking job.....
Aerokissfan88: uh, yeah
Aerokissfan88: or at least charge for these "miracles"
navipenguin: cant
navipenguin: ...father will ground me
Aerokissfan88: then, it'd be a miracle if we had power & could pay the bills
navipenguin: and hes pretty strict
navipenguin: na uh uhhhh
navipenguin: theres a rule to the miracles hun
navipenguin: sorry
Aerokissfan88: well, then, I don't think this'll work out
navipenguin: clearly
navipenguin: goddamnit
navipenguin: oh well
Aerokissfan88: we had a good run
Aerokissfan88: and other things
navipenguin: easy for you to say
navipenguin: you try runnign with a 90 pound slab of wood tied to your arms
navipenguin: ungratful shmuk
Aerokissfan88: I didn't say you
Aerokissfan88: I said we, dipshit
navipenguin: oh good
navipenguin: hey
navipenguin: now thats not nice
Aerokissfan88: ...neither is your face
navipenguin: =-O
navipenguin: >:o
navipenguin: ::raises hands towards sky::
navipenguin: thats it bitch prepare to be smote!
navipenguin: OH!
navipenguin: TAKE THAT
Aerokissfan88: Hey, man. I have some advice to tell you
navipenguin: thats what you get when you mess with the j-man
navipenguin: you get smited by goda hima selfa
Aerokissfan88: You know, I believe you have a problem
navipenguin: lol
navipenguin: a bit mayhaps
Aerokissfan88: and, you're taking it to the extreme
Aerokissfan88: I mean, this whole "tree-hugging" thing you've got going on
Aerokissfan88: it was ok when you had the sandals, baggy clothing & the long hair & scruffy look going on
Aerokissfan88: but fucking nailing yourself to one?
Aerokissfan88: You need to join a group.
navipenguin: yeah but you fuckers didnt cut it down did you
navipenguin: HAH
navipenguin: OH
Aerokissfan88: no
navipenguin: juzuz one, fucktards, ZERO BABY!
Aerokissfan88: It was more fun staying on the ground saying, "wow...look at him go..."
Aerokissfan88: then, some random bird flew past & shat in your mouth
navipenguin: yeah well i went longer then most men so there
Aerokissfan88: J-man 1, Bird-5
navipenguin: pfft
navipenguin: clearly your not aware of the nurturing value of bird shit
Aerokissfan88: it's not about whether or not it's good for you or how enjoyabe you find the taste to be
Aerokissfan88: it's just b/c your pride got shattered
Aerokissfan88: by a chickadee's sphincter
navipenguin: ouch
navipenguin: thats jsut fucking low
Aerokissfan88: see?
Aerokissfan88: J-man 1, Bird-5
navipenguin: ill make sure your unborn child gets rapped by hundreds of demons
navipenguin: just for that
navipenguin: your little babys gonna be an ugly one too
navipenguin: so there
Aerokissfan88: too bad I'm pregnant with yours, so it's BOUND to be ugly
Aerokissfan88: OH!
Aerokissfan88: OUCH
navipenguin: yes but you got laid by the j-man
Aerokissfan88: *ass rammage! tee-hee*
Aerokissfan88: yeah, an I was a little disappointed
navipenguin: pfft
navipenguin: you didnt complain then
Aerokissfan88: I didn't even feel...healed
navipenguin: i wasnt aiming to heal you
navipenguin: and i wasnt aiming to please ether
Aerokissfan88: I kept saying "Oh jesus" b/c I wanted you to get off my hair. you were leaning on it
navipenguin: i was aiming for your face but missed lol
Aerokissfan88: I felt like I could've wasted those minutes by painting my nails or tipping cows
Aerokissfan88: instead of whatever was supposed to happen
navipenguin: pfft you liked it and you know it
navipenguin: it was the most holy thing that would ever happen in YOUR life anyway
Aerokissfan88: heh
Aerokissfan88: "holey" indeed
navipenguin: and just what the hell is that supposed to mean
Aerokissfan88: you take however you wanna
Aerokissfan88: but on that note
Aerokissfan88: since I am pregnant with your ugly baby
Aerokissfan88: I'm gonna need some sleep
navipenguin: pfft
navipenguin: whatever
navipenguin: ill talk to you later
navipenguin: this isnt over
Aerokissfan88: no, seriously, I gotta makeup a lit test @ 7:45
navipenguin: oh ok
navipenguin: then ill talk to you later hun
navipenguin: ::hug::
navipenguin: thanks for joking around with me

yeah....i thought t was funny as hell....

thank you courtney for that wonderful convo <(^-^)>
     Read 3 - Post
05:50pm 30/01/2006
  just feel hollow...  
     Read 1 - Post
the best fucking news that i have heard since 2002ish!   
03:54am 22/01/2006
  ::cough cough::








(to quote eric cartman)

"sweet...sweet dude...FUCKING SWEET!"

::cough cough::

that has been the public anouncment fro the evening.
     Read 5 - Post
something i'v just been told   
11:55pm 11/01/2006
  im sure a few of you out there might rememeber that time i went over to megan's dad's house and we all got drunk. most of you also rememebr that i felt really bad about what i did. problem is by "what i did" i meant that i passed out in the bathroom and woke up in the mourning and to this day cant rememeber what i did that night. (i very vaugely remember very very small bits and pieces of it) but i was just told that i yelled at somebody that i kinda hold high up. now i already have been told that i yelled at sami. i said i was sorry so many times and i still feel that it wasnt enough. HOWEVER, nobody ever told me what i yelled at her for and about. i kinda remember me asking to talk to her and wantign to say that she needed to get over andy. however i have just been told that i yelled at her that he never loved her and that i did? even thoguh this was awhile ago and it seems people have already got over this i never knew about it till now. im shaking very badly and i feel horrible for even saying that. on top of it all it seems i tried to kiss her and got angry when she said no. again it seems people already got over this. but i passed out and had NO memory of this at all. it makes me feel so bad that i did that and i dont know how i could ever say im sorry enough. but this does make sence as to why certain peopel have looked at me funny and have said strange thigns and acted strange around me. even though i dont think sami uses livejournal anymore or if she ever really read mine to begin with but im so sorry. so very very sorry. if theres a way i coudl ever make it up to you please just let me know.

now i know what i did, im one step closer to being that guy that i hate.

please forgive me.
     Read 7 - Post
its been awhile...   
09:29pm 05/12/2005
mood: distressed
ok a few things first...

first off i finally got aroudn to shaving....it doesnt sound liek much but to the many that hated it its gone for at least a few weeks lol

second off im gettign my recording stuff for x-mas

third off my parents are gettign werse and he keeps crying in front of me...i have NO idea what to say to him or what i shoudl do about it.

4th off i have a bit of a problem...maybe yous guys coudl help me out here with it.

i have been given a choice abotu what i can get for x-mas besides teh recording thing.

i can choose between a 12 string fender acustic guitar, a 6 string (probably fender) acustic, or a 6 sting (probably fender) electric.

needless to say i have no idea what i shoudl choose...i mean iv never had a fender before and the thought of being able to get one makes me get that funny tingle-like feeling deep down in my pants. so im asking yous guys to help me out choosing..now im gonna lay the facts down for you to go through.

12 string-i have never owned one but i really want it and i think i coudl do some really neat stuff on it. but seeing as i have never really owned one and i have only played one for about 5 min and it was out of tune i have no idea what i coudl do with it yet....i.e. i REALLY want one but i have never really used one and have no absolute need for it.

6 string acustic- well seeing aws my first one kinda died and my second one that im useing now isnt a really good one i have the choice of gettign a better one. that simple. the one i have now IS starting to die on me cause i play it all the time. i.e. dont really need one but an upgrade woudl be nice.

6 string electric- simply put mine is gone. not dead cause dead be be brought back to life (all frankienstine like) but its practcly gone as in the frets are smashed the sound wont stay in tune for more then a few seconds and the tone over all is total crap. but seeing as i never really get into the whole metal part of music i dont absolutly need one. but im at the verge of maybe changing my style abit as far as music goes...i have done a few new sounds that can really only be captured on an electric. and seeing as mine really isnt worth fixing at the moment it woudl be nice to have a new one. but again its not really a nessesity...at the moment anyway...but i coudl always use a friends when i actulyl start recording...at least thast what i have been told. i.e. i do need one but not sure if now is the right time.

and yeah so thast the jist of it...i dont need a new banjo and i dont need a new bass....they are just fine...and my piano's are both in good condition and the violins arnt in the best of states but im not realy gonna be useing them THAT much...a little but ill get to all that much later lets just stick with the guitars right now. lol...anyway if yous guys could help me out by voicing a few opinions i would really liek that...thanks.....

(p.s. i jsut rememberd a certain acustic electric gutiar courtney showed me once that is red and all flame like...so that might be my replacement for the acustic but i coudlnt get it right now....at least not for x-mas...)
listen up. i need info and i need it fast!   
09:17am 19/11/2005
  i plan to be down in ga from around this monday to next sunday (the 27th). you see marcus is comign down from new york and i miss him dearly. not to mention that i have eairly christmas gifts for a few people (sorry guys its not much but tis something none the less) problem is i dont have a place to stay. i can hop around at places if its ok i dont mind. and i completly understand if nobody replys to this and if they do they say no. i jsut miss him and wanted to see a few people to give them their gifts before they all get lost completly in the packing. i need to know if theres room for me at ANYPLACE. even if its the back seat of a car that works for me. sorry to ask this of you guys on short notice and on the holidays too. please give me answers to this before sunday. even if the answers are "no" and "fuck off"...that it all.  
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